Thread: Jokes Corner

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  1. #1 Jokes Corner 
    Senior Member PSP Elite Hacker lommer's Avatar
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    Jokes Corner

    hi all,

    Got a funny joke? Why not share it.. well, post here your jokes!.. Anyway.. have fun adding your jokes


    While a Scot is pissing, a dollar falls into the toilet. Desperately, he looks at the dollar and asks himself whether a dollar is worth getting his hands dirty. After a while of thinking, he takes 10 dollars out of his pocket and throws them into the toilet.

    "Well, it's worth getting your hands dirty for eleven dollars!"
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  2. #2  
    Senior Member PSP Elite Hacker drizzle's Avatar
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    Two antennas fall in love and get married. The wedding was so-so but the reception was great!

    Two fish swim into a concrete wall, one fish turns to the other and says "Dam!"

    I love weak puns
    Before you post please
    Read the sticky's Read the manual Use the search button Google it

    Drizzle's so cool he sh*ts icecubes.
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  3. #3  
    Senior Member PSP Elite Hacker
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    2 midgets are at a bar, and they are talking to eachother
    Midget 1 - "I really want to get laid"
    Midget 2 - "Me too"
    Then, two beautiful woman walk up to them and offer to sleep with them for the night, no strings attached.
    The first midget is on top of the bed, and he can't get it up. Mainly because he can't concentrate since in the next room all he hears is "ONE TWO THREE UGH ONE TWO THREE AHH"
    So the next morning the two midgets unite, the first midget says "how was your night? I couldn't even get it up"
    the second midget says "You think thats bad, I couldn't even get on top of the bed!"
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  4. #4  
    Senior Member PSP Elite Hacker urineanus's Avatar
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    Q: what does a woman do when she gets out of spousal abuse treatment?


    A: The dishes if she knows what is good for her.
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  5. #5  
    Senior Member PSP Elite Hacker lommer's Avatar
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    Teacher:''My wife has the worst memory".
    Student :"Does she forget everything?"
    Teacher:"No, She remembers everything".


    Son : "Mummy, am I descended from a monkey?"
    Mother : "I don't know, Ravi. I never met your father's people".
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  6. #6  
    Senior Member PSP Mad Hacker Madhatter's Avatar
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    Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin turns to the other and says: "Damn its hot in here!" The other muffin screams: "AAH! TALKING MUFFIN!"

    Two chocolate bunnies are in an chocolate factory. The taste tester walks over and eats one bunnies ears. As he leaves the other bunny walks over and says "Happy Easter!" and the other bunny says "What?"

    A man walked into a bar with a monkey on his shoulder. He sat down at the bar and the monkey took off and began to eat random things on the floor and tables. The bartender says "You know your monkey is eating random things right?" The man replies "Oh yeah he does it all the time" A few minutes go past and the monkey eats a cue ball of the pool table. The bartender says "Hey guy you know your monkey just ate a cue ball?" The man says "Dont worry he eats random things all the time." So the man and monkey leave and come back in a few days later. The monkey takes off again while the man sits down. The monkey takes a peanut, shoves it up his ass and then eats it, he does the same with everything he begins to pick up. The bartender says "Hey why is your monkey sticking everything up his butt before he eats it?" and the man replies "Well ever since he had to shit that cue ball he wants to make sure everything fits first!"
    The Ability To Talk Does NOT Make You Intelligent
    <br>
    Quote Originally Posted by Tay Zonday
    **I move away from the mic to breathe in
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  7. #7  
    Senior Member PSP Elite Hacker drizzle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by urineanus
    Q: what does a woman do when she gets out of spousal abuse treatment?


    A: The dishes if she knows what is good for her.
    More se.xist jokes, note I am not se.xist but these jokes are still kinda funny


    Q: What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?

    A: Nothing, you already told her twice.



    Q: Why'd the woman cross the road?

    A: Who cares, why'd she leave the kitchen.
    Before you post please
    Read the sticky's Read the manual Use the search button Google it

    Drizzle's so cool he sh*ts icecubes.
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  8. #8  
    Senior Member PSP Elite Hacker Gameunreal's Avatar
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    Two Irishmen were sitting in a four engined plane flying back from a shopping trip to Paris when the captains voice came over the loudspeaker. "Ladies and Gentlemen, one of the engines appears to have failed. There's nothing to worry about but we will be 15 minutes late in landing at Gatwick."

    Five minutes later he said, "Nothing to worry about, ladies and Gentlemen, but one of the other engines has failed, and we will now be an hour late."

    A moment later, "Er...sorry about this ladies and gentlemen, but the third engine has also given up the ghost and we will now be two hours later than expected."

    One of the Irishmen tapped his friend on the shoulder. "Good heavens, Patrick, do you realise that if the other engine fails, we'll be here all night ?"

    ------------------------
    Announcement at a London Airport:-

    Will the gentleman who left his hearing aid aboard flight 173 from Paris, please call at the information desk.


    ----------------

    First Englishman: "What was the final score in the match this afternoon?"

    Second Englishman: "Nil-Nil".

    First Englishman:"What was the score at half-time?"

    -------------------
    Irishman, Englishman and a German are caught in Saudi Arabia drinking. "Under Saudi law you are sentenced to 30 lashes then deported. Before you begin you are entitled to something on you back, what would you like?" said the prison guard to the Englishman just before lashing him. The English man, being a bit of a cricket fan, asked for linseed oil. When they lashed him on a post and let him go to catch his flight back to London he groaned and crawled to the airport. Next came the German. "Under Saudi law you are sentenced to 30 lashes then deported. Before you begin you are entitled to something on you back, what would you like?" said the prison guard "Nothing" said the German and, after receiving his lashes spat on the ground, called the prison guards Schisers and started off towards the airport. The guards then came to the Irishman. "Under Saudi law you are sentenced to 30 lashes then deported. Before you begin you are entitled to something on you back, what would you like?" "Oh", replied the Irishman, "I'll take the German".
    --.
    One day an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub together. They each bought a pint of Guinness. Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage, three flies landed in each of their pints, and were stuck in the thick head. The Englishman pushed his beer away in disgust. The Scotsman fished the fly out of his beer, and continued drinking it, as if nothing had happened. The Irishman, too, picked the fly out of his drink, held it out over the beer, and started yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU BASTARD!!!!"
    --------------------
    An English man and an Irish man are driving head on , at night, on a twisty, dark road. Both are driving to fast for the conditions and collide on a sharp bend in the road. To the amazement of both, they are unscathed, though their cars are both destroyed. In celebration of their luck, both agree to put aside their dislike for the other from that moment on. At this point, the Irish man goes to the boot and fetches a 12 year old bottle of Jameson whiskey. He hands the bottle to the English man, whom exclaims,'' may the English and the Irish live together forever, in peace, and harmony.'' The English man then tips the bottle and lashes half of it down. Still flabbergasted over the whole thing, he goes to hand the bottle to the Irish man, whom replies: '' no thanks, I'll just wait till the Garda get here!''
    (the garda are irish police)
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  9. #9  
    Senior Member PSP Elite Hacker lommer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by drizzle
    More se.xist jokes, note I am not se.xist but these jokes are still kinda funny


    Q: What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?

    A: Nothing, you already told her twice.



    Q: Why'd the woman cross the road?

    A: Who cares, why'd she leave the kitchen.
    why'd she leave the kitchen.... LOL
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  10. #10  
    Retired Moderator PSP Elite Hacker Julie's Avatar
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    got his in a myspace email:

    "7 Kinds of ***"

    Recent research shows that there are 7 kinds of ***:

    The 1st kind of *** is called: Smurf ***. This kind of *** happens
    when you first meet someone and you both have *** until you are blue
    in the face.

    The 2nd kind of *** is called: Kitchen ***. This is when you have been
    with your partner for a short time and you are still so horny you will
    have *** anywhere, even in the kitchen.

    The 3rd kind of *** is called: Bedroom ***. This is when you have been
    with your partner for a long time. Your *** has gotten routine and you
    usually have *** only in your bedroom.

    The 4th kind of *** is called: Hallway ***. This is when you have been
    with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the
    hallway you both say "screw you."

    The 5th kind of *** is called: Religious ***, which means you get Nun
    in the morning, Nun in the afternoon a nd Nun at night.

    The 6th kind is called Courtroom ***. This is when you cannot stand
    each other any more. She takes you to court and screws you in front of
    everyone.

    And last, but not least, the 7th kind of *** is called: Social
    Security ***. You get a little from time-to-time, but not enough to
    live on.

    damn censorship. the hidden word is "s3x" lol
    R.I.P Zoidberg
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  11. #11  
    Senior Member I Modded My PSP heatzone07's Avatar
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    There are nine very important men in a woman's life. They are:
    Her Doctor; he says, "Take your clothes off."
    Her Dentist; he says, "Open wide."
    Her Veterinarian; he says, "And how is your little pussy doing today?"
    Her Gardener; he says, "Do you want me to mulch your bush?"
    Her Hairdresser; he says, "Do you want it teased or blown?"
    Her Interior Decorator; he says, "You'll like it once it's in."
    Her Remodeler; he says, "It fits tongue-in-groove with a little hammering."
    Her Milkman; he says, "Do you want it in front or in back?"
    Her Banker; he says, "If you take it out, you'll lose interest."
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