Thread: Poem I wrote (I'm Just Crying)

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  1. #1 Poem I wrote (I'm Just Crying) 
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    I'm looking for some people to tell me what they think of this I wrote within an hour's time. However, there is no one I can find to give me some constructive criticism or even tell me what it brings to mind for them.

    I wrote I'm Just Crying today because I felt like I needed to. I don't often share my songs out of fear and insecurity about them... I don't know why I feel like that about them. Link: I'm Just Crying by ~muffinlybliss on deviantART

    I'm Just Crying
    By MuffinlyBliss

    You think I’m just a bitch
    Oh what is this?
    Just another situation
    With hurt instead of bliss
    You just tell me to shut up
    Why does it hurt?
    I once thought that we were friends
    But that hope just fades away

    Chorus:
    Ooooohhhhhh
    You tell me to be stronger
    The grief will fade away
    You ask me why it matters
    As my shield keeps breaking down
    And all that I can answer…
    Oh, I’m just crying

    The freedom fades away
    Why do I cry?
    It’s just another bother
    To keep dragg’in me down
    I want to stop the pain
    What is it worth?
    The daily situations
    With us hurting like this

    Chorus:
    Ooooohhhhhh
    You tell me to be stronger
    The grief will fade away
    You ask me why it matters
    As my shield keeps breaking down
    And all that I can answer…
    Oh, I’m just crying

    Then the fight begins
    Blood is being spilt
    Over stupid situations
    That kills what had been bliss
    People keep on starin
    I can’t bear the thought
    What will people think of us
    When this all crumbles down?

    Chorus:
    Ooooohhhhhh
    You tell me to be stronger
    The grief will fade away
    You ask me why it matters
    As my shield keeps breaking down
    And all that I can answer…
    Oh, I’m just crying


    A lot of people mistake me for being a mean person. I find it hard to trust people, and even some of the closest people to me probably don't know me as well as they should. Even when I just want to break down and cry I cover it up and try to be happy as much as I can. It causes me to be severely misunderstood due to the walls I put up.

    Sometimes I get that moment when I want to let it out, and I do, through my writing and my work. I was watching a biography about one of the artists I have always respected and loved: Pink. Why should I care what other people think? Sometimes I wish I had some medium to tell the people that I care about how I feel, but its hard, and it hurts when you feel like you're screaming in a crowded room and no one seems to listen.

    Here is a song I wrote called: I'm Just Crying. This is honestly the first lyrical poem I have ever shared or written down. Many of the ones I have made were hidden away and lost, because I don't want people to find them and completely misunderstand what I am saying. I am not Emo, I am not Suicidal, and I am not Depressed. I just need a medium to let out the hurt that gathers every day from being just one of those people who feel, but are not heard.
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  2. #2  
    Junior Member PSP User sgbatsrule's Avatar
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    lookin good!
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  3. #3  
    I want it all, brand new socks and draws! PSP Mad Hacker thecoo1est's Avatar
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    do you like muffins?
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  4. #4  
    Knights of War PSP Elite Hacker KoW210's Avatar
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    pretty song . . . sing it and put it on youtube.
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  5. #5  
    ♥ man ass PSP Elite Hacker carp's Avatar
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    fagget stfu.
    I'm a fag.
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  6. #6  
    Senior Member I Modded My PSP Akkio's Avatar
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    Hahah U Depressed Suicidal Emo!

    Gtfo Plx ?!
    There is nothing either good or bad.
    But thinking makes it so.

    William Shakespeare
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  7. #7  
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    im not sure, but is it a breakup poem? thats what i was thinking. its good though, especially the 3rd verse.
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  8. #8  
    Senior Member PSP Mad Hacker Darkthunder90's Avatar
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    A lot of people mistake me for being a mean person. I find it hard to trust people, and even some of the closest people to me probably don't know me as well as they should. Even when I just want to break down and cry I cover it up and try to be happy as much as I can. It causes me to be severely misunderstood due to the walls I put up.

    Sometimes I get that moment when I want to let it out, and I do, through my writing and my work. I was watching a biography about one of the artists I have always respected and loved: Pink. Why should I care what other people think? Sometimes I wish I had some medium to tell the people that I care about how I feel, but its hard, and it hurts when you feel like you're screaming in a crowded room and no one seems to listen.

    Here is a song I wrote called: I'm Just Crying. This is honestly the first lyrical poem I have ever shared or written down. Many of the ones I have made were hidden away and lost, because I don't want people to find them and completely misunderstand what I am saying. I am Emo, I am Suicidal, and I am Depressed. I just need a medium to let out the hurt that gathers every day from being just one of those people who feel, but are not heard.
    Fixed..... Just kidding. But you must be depressed, otherwise you couldn't have thought of such things. Its ok to be sad Muffin, its a natural feeling. If something is bothering you, you shouldn't let people make fun of you for it. However, if you are going to vent, it might be better to just say what's bothing you rather than posting a poem about it. It just looks kind of dumb seeing it on the internet.
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  9. #9  
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    Lol. I actually wasn't depressed when I wrote it. It just came out the way it did.
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  10. #10  
    ElateSword
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    i think its a good poem, and im sad all the time, that's how i become happy, misery loves company is what i say, and there is always good ways to cure sadness, people don't agree with my methods but i can't give a shit. i haven't heard a good poem in a while, thnx muffinlybliss.
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  11. #11  
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    Quote Originally Posted by ElateSword View Post
    and im sad all the time, that's how i become happy
    ..weird...seriously..future murderer...
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  12. #12  
    bunnies ate my brain PSP Elite Hacker clwnz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by carp View Post
    fagget stfu.
    QFT.
    Emo as hell. Only read first little verse/paragraph :P.

    "I got ice in my veins,
    blood in my eyes
    Hate in my heart,
    love in my mind..."

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    Quote Originally Posted by KhAoSxChAoS View Post
    I facepalmed so many times, I have a fractured forehead...
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  13. #13  
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    Quote Originally Posted by clwnfrmdwntwn View Post
    QFT.
    Emo as hell. Only read first little verse/paragraph :P.
    Well, I really don't care what you say. I've never had any respect for you. carp, *shrug*, I rarely if ever take him seriously (no offense) and to the person who said GTFO I am not leaving anytime soon.
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  14. #14  
    ♥ man ass PSP Elite Hacker carp's Avatar
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    i was joking fyi.
    no reason to jump on the bandwagon.
    I'm a fag.
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  15. #15  
    ElateSword
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sullivan View Post
    ..weird...seriously..future murderer...
    leave me alone, perfect child
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