Thread: Ed,Edd,&Eddy Copypasta

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  1. #1 Ed,Edd,&Eddy Copypasta 
    Senior Member PSP Elite Hacker Bewood's Avatar
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    I know this is long, and a lot of you can't pay attention more than one minute to read a post, but trust me this is worth it.

    If you've never seen the cartoon, it's Ed, Edd, & Eddy. Pretty good cartoon, and this theory matches up perfectly with the show. I found it very interesting:


    Long ago, Eddy's ancestors founded the Peach Creek estates that the Eds call home, built long before Eddy’s ancestors, another ominous presence inhabited the area. The great and all powerful Yeshmiyek. If you all recall, Rolf was paying a tribute to this creature during the holiday special. I believe Yeshmiyek is an intergalactic alien overlord involved in the Galactic Planet Trade. Yeshmiyek was wise to the bountiful resources that ran among the area and made it her home. But she knew, in the future, the land would prosper and would become even more valuable, so she buried herself deep below the surface of the Cul-De-Sac and waited. Hundreds of years past, and the area were turned into a private estate. Eventually several families moved into the new area. Nazz’s, Kevin's, double d, (who will be referred to in this document as DD) and Ed's. However, another family was present. Eddy's family. The family had two sons, Eddy, and Eddy’s brother (Who we will refer to as E-B). E-B was strong, smart and popular with the kids in the neighborhood. E-B had always had an interest in aliens, and this attraction spawned a great legacy. At this point, Yeshmiyek had crafted a modern, unsuspecting, suburban home. She had also created Rolf, her eyes and ears to the growing Cul-De-Sac, which is why no one knows where Rolf came from. She informed Rolf to keep her existence a secret, and to let no one enter the house. For a time this plan worked, and Yeshmiyek spawned many other aliens to aid her, who she sent back to her home planet to monitor things. The plan was simple. Use Rolf to gain the children’s trust, and once enough armed forces where assembled, attack. For further protection, she used alien tech to disguise her elite as farm animals, in case of emergency.

    E-B was a curious tyke, and formed a friendship with Rolf. Then, E-B noticed something strange. Rolf fit the description of nearly very alien in the book. His behavior, mannerisms, everything. One day E-B secretly followed Rolf into his home and discovered Rolf speaking to Yeshmiyek. Frightened, he ran, but not before Yeshmiyek spotted him. E-B, however was no pushover and was a technical genius. He managed to fight of Yeshmiyek and Rolf. Eventually, he escaped. He threatened to tell the whole world about the conspiracy, but Yeshmiyek threatened E-B. She told him if he passed the buck, she would have to knock off a few family members; starting with Eddy. Both sides agreed to a truce. Or so E-B thought. In order to protect herself, Yeshmiyek split her body into two halves. She left behind a ghostly manifestation, but returnee her physical body to space. At this time, EB was using his extreme technical intelligence to gather and develop his own brand of super tech, that’s why Eddy remembers E-B sneaking out to the junkyard. There was short period of peace between E-B and the aliens. During this time, E-B hid his room, and began filling it with various tech and installing several emergency bunkers. One such bunker was under Eddy's bed. During the episode where Ed sticks everyone to the wall via Chunky Puff paste, Eddy states the various supplies under his bed can sustain them for three weeks.

    This was installed by E-B to protect his little brother. E-B could sense tension between Rolf, and realized something big was going to go down, so he prepared for the worst, arming himself with his best tech. One such item was the van that the Ed's found in the junkyard. Another was plank, a remote control walkie talky camera device disguised as a piece of wood. One night, when E-B was out in the junkyard gathering items for his weapons, he was attacked by Rolf. Under the cover of darkness, Rolf was able to overpower him and E-B was abducted. In the struggle, E-B dropped plank and the van was left behind.

    Johnny: As a young child, Johnny was looked down upon as a “Melon-Head" and picked on. After the usual taunting, Johnny fled to the Junkyard to be alone. There, he found Plank. Due to his social phobias, he talked to plank and to his surprise, plank talked back. E-B carried a communicator on his wrist that was relayed to planks built in speaker. At this point E-B was desperate to save his home and asked Jonny if he would be willing to help. This was the first time Johnny had been included and was overjoyed to be wanted. He trusted E-B and become an agent for the good of the Cul-De-Sac. E-B then gave him the task of monitoring the Cul-De-Sac and reporting any news of alien activity. E-B also taught Johnny his knowledge of tech, and designed Captain Melon heads costume and weapons, E-B's original prototypes. One of the reasons Jonny is always off on his own is so he can receive messages without interruption.

    Kevin: Kevin was rather difficult to figure out. He has just as many reasons to help E-B as he has to go against him. Let's start with why he would stick with the Cul-De-Sac. One reason is fear. As you know, Kevin is constantly picking on Eddy, both physically and mentally. Kevin could eventually join E-B out of fear that if he does not somehow get on E-B's good side, EB will pay him back for all the grief he’s given Eddy over the years. This could also be a reason for joining Rolf. If Kevin is with the force that imprisoned E-B, Kevin at least has some protection. Another reason he could be for the Cul-De-Sac is to protect Nazz. Kevin likes Nazz and knows if he does not fight the aliens, she might get hurt. Now let's discuss the reasons for helping Rolf. We all know Kevin and Rolf are very good friends, which could lead one to believe Kevin is helping the alien threat. An example of this is during the episode with the power outage. Rolf needed the TV for the “Field Worker Pageant", most likely a message from Yeshmiyek. Kevin followed Rolf down into the sewers to aid him in his search, so Kevin could be an alien agent. Or he could be going down to gather information to report to E-B. However, this is not likely because Johnny (agent for E-B), suggested flooding the sewers in that episode, with full knowledge Rolf and Kevin where down there. If Kevin was for E-B, E-B would likely not sacrificed one of his own. It’s possible E-B thought an invasion was coming, and told Johnny to kill off Rolf at the first chance. The weapon Johnny used to implement such a task was the sewers. A supporting reason for this was that Johnny received the instructions for the flush via Plank, E-B's communicator. Either way, to kill off Rolf, Kevin or both, the plan failed and both are still very much alive. It's also possible Kevin knew of Johnny's plan and followed Rolf down to hold him there and make sure Rolf perished, sacrificing himself in the process.

    Jimmy: If you all would please recall the episode when Johnny and Plank had the falling out, I will begin Jimmy's story. The falling out was likely due to stress and worry Jonny felt for a potential invasion and fear he could not live up to E-B's expectations. Later, Jimmy found Plank and returned home. Once E-B realized Johnny had split, he asked Jimmy if he wanted to replace him. Like Johnny, Jimmy was a bit of a misfit, and was overjoyed to be included. However, Johhny and Plank got back together and E-B took back Johnny and fired Jimmy. Rejected, Jimmy became depressed and ran away. Jimmy wanted revenge on the man who dismissed him, and used what little knowledge E-B had given him to convince Rolf to take him on as an assistant and work to destroy E-B. Jimmy has been working under Rolf ever since. Jimmy and Rolf are often working together. Such as the episode when Jimmy framed the Eds, or the money tree episode, or in the Urban Rangers. I will know explain Jimmy's head gear. Keep in mind Jimmy had the head gear before he joined Rolf, but when he was a temporary member of E-B's forces, E-B used Planks remote control to modify Jimmy's head gear making it a backup transmitter if Plank was ever destroyed. After Jimmy joined Rolf, Rolf used alien tech to modify it once more, used for the same purpose, but to relay alien messages to give to Rolf, rather than messages from E-B. Jimmy’s untimely dismissal is one of the many reasons Jimmy despises Eddy.

    Double D/Ed: DD and Ed fall into the story in a mixed fashion, and their stories are somewhat intertwined. To start things off, I shall explain the theory's foundation, than go into details specific to each boy. Yeshmiyek’s physical body remained in space and Rolf was constantly relaying information back to her and other aliens. In one report, he mentioned DD, who was quite intelligent. Yeshmiyek saw DD’s potential as an alien scientist/spy and abducted him as a young child. The same goes for Ed, who was noticed due to his Herculean strength. Every plan needs balance, and while DD acted as the brains, Ed acted as brawn. In order to increase their abilities further, both boys underwent a brain surgery. DD was given a half alien brain to add to his human brain. He was given a half brain so he could build alien tech, yet still retain human qualities and memory. The opposite procedure was done for Ed.

    Half his human brain was removed and replaced with half a brain of one of Rolf's strongest alien animal soldiers, giving him even more strength and if angered, a berserk temperament. This also explains why Ed bonded so easily to Rolf’s animals. Keep in mind the aliens were strapped for time and performed both surgeries at the same time. However, something went screwy. Maybe a power surge or circuitry malfunctions. Pick your poison. The surgery was incomplete. DD lost all memory of the abduction, yet he retained the ability to build alien tech. DD simply thought the tech was just another invention he had developed. A similar problem followed Ed. Since he had half and alien brain now, he could easily identify alien tech, such as invisibility and cloaking devices that will be explained later. After the surgery went haywire, they stitched DD up, returned his hat, (which he was already using to cover up something) and returned him home. Same scenario with Ed only used his uni-brow for cover. Essentially, the surgery was postponed, with the idea it would continue until properly finished, but for whatever reason, that never happened.

    After several weeks of intense backtracking and observation, I believe I have developed a story that supports my theory and explains Kevin’s loyalty. However, in order to explain we will need to go back in time, a time where EB was still living among the children of the Cul-De-Sac, and the original 3 defenders of the Cul-De-Sac that EB had recruited to help him fight the alien threat. This is the first generation. This takes place after EB discovered Rolf’s secret, but before EB's abduction, so this was the brief period of peace. How do we know there where only 3? Simple. In the first episode (the pool party), Eddy showed the DD and ED EB's swimsuits. However the suits are not normal. These were cloaking devices that turned the user invisible or allowed them to change appearance. However, Eddy had no clue of the true nature of the devices. Now, back to the original 3 members. They are as follows: EB, Jim, and Kevin's father. We all know of course that EB was involved, but the other two have very complex backgrounds, and their current allegiances have shifted, or at least one has

    Kevin's father: I believe that Kevin’s father was loyal to E-B from the start and had few worries. He was most likely drawn into E-B's group to protect his young son, and offered his manufacturing expertise in mass producing E-B's tech, such as the jawbreakers. However, fear has a funny way of wrapping around ones morals until the persons only care is their own survival, and all trace of loyalty goes down the toilet. After -EB's abduction, the aliens wanted to permanently dispose of any organization working against them, so they struck Kevin's fathers only weak point. They threatened that if Kevin’s father did not comply with their alien methods and surrender, they would start picking off his family. In order to save Kevin, and his own hide, Kevin’s father pledged allegiance to the aliens and began to manufacture the modified jawbreakers for the aliens. The aliens modified them so if consumed by ordinary children, they where nothing more than candy, but if consumed by anything with alien genetics, the candy would act like a video game stat boost, increasing energy, intelligence, etc. In order to further protect his hide, Kevin’s father raised Kevin on the belief that Eddy was some evil entity, which is why Kevin hates Eddy so. Or, Kevin just a jerk. Luckily, E-B still had one loyal mercenary who was determined to tough it out no matter what the cost. Inter Jim.

    Jim: After E-B abduction, the alien focused on eliminating the two remaining links that could pose a potential threat. After they had converted Kevin’s father, they went after Jim. Now there was no Jim to begin with. Jim was one of the stepfathers of the 3 sisters. If you all recall the house Kevin led the Ed’s into, you'll recall that the sisters knew the geography of the house like the back of their hand. That was their original home. The aliens tried to pull the same card on Jim as they did on Kevin’s dad. The aliens threatened Jim’s step daughters. Unlike Kevin’s dad, Jim stood firm and waited out an attack. One night, the aliens attacked in an attempt to brain wash the girls to their alien ways and to kill the father. No dice. Somehow Jim escaped and the home was dilapidated due to the struggle. Jim took his cloaking device (A.K.A. Swimsuit) and modified it so it read "Jim", not his original name, so if he ever was discovered, the aliens would have difficulty determining his true identity. Since then Jim has waited in the shadows, looking for a chance to strike back. Keep in mind that the time period when Jim was attacked was in the period of peace, so the kids where young. After the attack, the aliens erased the kid’s memories of Jim, and the house. Years went by and Jim was still waiting for a sign from EB. One day, he found Johnny taking to Plank, which was a device used by E-B to relay orders.

    PLANK stands for

    Privately
    Linked
    Abduction
    Notification
    Kommunicator

    After Jim realized Plank was really E-B, he showed himself and begged Johnny to let him speak with his old friend. Jim then joined the force as an under cover agent, who remained invisible the whole series because the aliens presume him to be dead. After more time went by, we come to the episode with Ed's imaginary friend "Jib" E-B had told Jim to test Eddy's abilities to see if he's finally ready to learn the truth. Due to Ed's half alien brain, he could see Jim. However, due the malfunction during the surgery, he identified him as "Jib" not "Jim". Eddy then engaged him in combat and lost, then to fake his disappearance, he allowed Eddy to capture him, and send him away. Jim’s whereabouts are unknown. For all we know, Yeshmiyek could have caught wind Jim was back in town and sent a crack team of alien assassins to hunt him down. He could be dead.

    Lee, Marie and May: In order to properly dabble into the events regarding May, Lee, and Marie, we must remember that they were human...at one point, most likely before E-B capture and disbandment of the original 3 defenders. The three girls were Jim’s stepdaughters. His biological daughter is unknown. (I personally doubt it even matters) For a time, they lived in the house (recap), before its destruction. When Jim refused to surrender, the aliens attacked him in an attempt to kill him and brain washes his three children. Jim of course escaped and the sisters were brainwashed via a similar surgery that Ed and DD underwent. As to modifications made to the three, I really don't know. It is shown they can harbor a crafty, deceitful mindset that rivals Jimmy when provoked and all three are feared throughout the Cul-De-Sac as the stereo type "tough kids". The three where probably told to distract the Ed's so they could not dabble into EB's disappearance any further than what they already knew. The kid’s memories of the former sisters where most likely wiped and replaced with memories that associated the sisters with fear and terror. The sister’s affinity for the Eds was likely programmed into their brains via brainwash. As to why the three seem to pick on Jimmy, I don't fully understand. In the king of the Cul-De-Sac episode, they attempted to feed him a worm, yet in the episode with the heart of friendship, they where working together. The worm could have been a type of stat booster, and Jimmy acted frightened as a guise in case he was being spied on.

    Urban Rangers

    The Urban Rangers pose a significant threat to the theory as Rolf and Jimmy are seen with Johnny in a conduct that resembles an almost brotherly bond. I will now attempt to shed some light on the situation. We all know the only three members of this group are Rolf, Jimmy and Johhny. Why would Rolf be working with Johhny, an agent under E-B? Very simple; Rolf doesn't know. Keep in mind that Rolf never saw Plank, Plank was just a gadget that was left behind, and everyone sees Johhny as the weird kid, and Rolf has no reason to question his eccentric habits. However, there is one more problem. Jimmy was once a recruit for E-B, and thus knows Plank is a communicator, but Rolf remains clueless. This opens up a new way of thinking about Jimmy's true motives. Rather than telling Rolf that Johhny is working for the enemy, Jimmy keeps this to himself, hoping that he can slowly rise to power, and this valuable piece of info will be Rolf's down fall, thus allowing him to become stronger than EB and finally be able to exact his revenge.
    The next character left to discuss is Nazz. Nazz's ties to the theory can be branched in two directions, and will be referred to as part A and Part B.

    Part A: We all know that Nazz is understood to be the oldest kid in the Cul-De-Sac. It was revealed in the episode when Eddy claimed that his elder brother was returning, that she had some fond memories of him, as she got ready to rock climb with him. This could mean she knew of the aliens at one point, and retained some of that information, despite the mind wipe, but clearly not enough to concern the aliens.

    Part B: She's clueless.
    Avast Ye Ed’s!


    This episode poses a potential threat to the story, but can are easily dismissed as nothing more than sub-plot. In the episode, Johhny and Jimmy were passengers aboard the Ed's less than luxurious cruise liner. They were quite at peace and were not at each others throats. Jimmy even praised Johhny for his heroics. The answer is very simple. This episode was in Season 1, and Jimmy's betrayal did not occur until the episode with Planks falling out, which was in Season 2.

    Elements Regarding the relationship between Rolf and EB.

    Throughout the series, we have noticed that Rolf has a phobia of E-B. Supporting evidence is shown in the episode where Eddy claims his brother is returning. Surprised and deeply horrified, Rolf rushes back to his home, most likely to tell Yeshmiyek. Rolf did not worry, fret, or whimper. The kid practically WET himself in sheer terror, even to the point of building a moat around his home. Another such instance is when Eddy wanted to make a movie to send to his brother. If memory serves, it was Rolf who stopped the camera from rolling and destroyed their movie in the end. Yet another example takes place within the same episode mentioned earlier. When Rolf heard E-B was returning, he knit E-B a "sweater" that he presented to Eddy most likely some type of constraint to stop E-B from fighting back upon his "return". I do not recall if Eddy accepted the gift or not, but that detail is irrelevant because E-B never got it because Eddy was lying about his return anyway.

    A Living Weapon?

    Eddy

    Eddy is essentially clueless to the alien’s existence, but the way the aliens treat him is another story. We see examples of Eddy's talents in almost every episode, showcasing a knack for scams, deceitful projects, and bizarre, if not revolutionary, ambitions. We have seen Eddy's potential as a teacher, as he practically transformed Jimmy into a clone of himself. In the general sense, the aliens fear Eddy, not for his current abilities, but his potential latent potential he might share with his elder brother. The aliens fear that if Eddy applies himself, he could become a second E-B, and push back the invasion even further. The aliens also fear Eddy because of his ties with E-B final tech he ever built. It was revealed in the episode where they first disclosed E-B's room, a map was hidden. This was a piece of alien tech, stolen and modified by E-B to fit his needs. This explained why only Ed could decipher it. The map was originally to be received by Eddy once the invasion started and track down E-B's ultimate weapon. Unfortunately, the aliens got their hands on it after the disbandment of the defenders, so no one could stop them. They then deciphered the map, realizing the map could only be revealed when placed upon Eddy's face and they abducted him.

    Afterwards, they placed a copy of the Cul-De-Sac map over Eddy's head and the location read the trailer park. The aliens then stationed May, Lee, and Marie in the vicinity and ordered them to excavate the location. Oddly enough, the area came up dry. The aliens ordered them to continue searching the area. The aliens used this to their own advantage. They then placed the map back in E-B's room, in hope that the Ed's would come across it, and look in the trailer park for the mystery treasure it withheld. Keep in mind the Ed's were not looking for the ultimate weapon, just looking for their own gain. If solved, the aliens would ambush the Ed's, and take them away, then wipe everyone's mind, thus eliminating Eddy for good. For whatever reason, the Ed's escaped and are still alive. However, one question remains unanswered. Why did both parties come up dry? I will leave that open to speculation.

    Eddy (continued)

    Both sides were on the right track...to a point. It's true that the map was an essential item in locating the weapon, but each side took the search a little too far. The answer had been in front of them the entire time. The map's X was located on Eddy's face. E-B’s ultimate super weapon: Eddy himself. Eddy shares E-B's genes and has incredible potential. Even before E-B’s abduction, he began leaving clues and weapons that could aid Eddy, should he ever follow in his elder brother's footsteps. E-B took everything into account. Eddy's social skills, his desire for attention, and taught him everything he knew, Eddy even confirmed it himself. Eddy even made two close friends, just like his older brother did, Ed and DD. E-B established Johnny as back up in case one of them ever was killed or betrayed Eddy. Jim, who was presumed dead, was a welcome addition. EB is hoping that with the right guidance and training, Eddy can become a powerful leader, like he was, and finish the Cul-De-Sac/Alien war started long ago. It's also possible that E-B could have made some slight cybernetic modifications to his brother, for Eddy's benefit of course. We all saw in the episode with the Urban Rangers taking a night trip into the woods, Eddy could go toe to toe with Ed, and win. He tied him up with a garden hose in less than two minutes. It was also revealed in the episode with the balloon; Eddy's hair can make for a powerful flying mechanism. He is also clever and resourceful. Will Eddy ever be able to complete his elder brother's mission? Or is E-B inadvertently leading his brother and friends to a terrible fate? Can E-B's forces really win, even though they are terribly outmatched? As of now, the stories regarding the kids end.

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  2. #2  
    Senior Member PSP Elite Hacker Kaikz's Avatar
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    Where the fuck did you find that?!
    I see how it all fits, but what about Ed's (strong one) sister? She has it in for Eddy.....
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  3. #3  
    Senior Member PSP Elite Hacker Bewood's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by iPenguin2 View Post
    Where the fuck did you find that?!
    I see how it all fits, but what about Ed's (strong one) sister? She has it in for Eddy.....
    ina cereal bawks

    I have a Pokemon one too, but it's also very long.

    I FORGOT ABOUT THE SISTER! OMFG... I guess she's irrelevant.
    I thought it was his mom he was worried about, not a sister.

    SARAH THE RED HEADED BRAT, I REMEMBER NOW!

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  4. #4  
    I'm Pitching A Tent PSP Elite Hacker Chriscyco30's Avatar
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    Ho.lee.shit.
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  5. #5  
    Senior Member PSP Elite Hacker Switchblades's Avatar
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    Is that a penis in your signature?
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  6. #6  
    Senior Member PSP Elite Hacker Bewood's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Switchblades View Post
    Is that a penis in your signature?
    Totally.

    /filla

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  7. #7  
    Senior Member PSP Elite Hacker Switchblades's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bewood View Post
    Totally.

    /filla
    When in doubt, smoke a cigarette with your penis.
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