Thread: So ashamed! So Depressed!

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  1. #1 So ashamed! So Depressed! 
    Senior Member PSP Mad Hacker DarthWalker's Avatar
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    Well guys, I use to smoke long ago, but found the power to quit. And did so for 2 years. However a siries of these events caused me to relapse;

    Parents split up and I was kicked out of my house for the weekend (dident smoke)
    (got back home parents got back togeather, was happy)

    I work at a call center and the death threats, put downs, and supreme insults youd never expect to come from another human being just got to me (sligtly smoked)(then quit)

    All the stress of school (gotta dish out over 500$$ for stuff at school)(thought about smokeing)

    Getting the sudden realisation I have a 95% chance of failing grade 12 and letting my parents down.(dont care for my education half as muchas if I fail and really let my mother down. I fell into depression over thinking of how dissapointed she'll be)

    (smokeing consistantly now)

    I mean, my life would be so much easier if that breakup diden occur. I threw me off in school, couldent concentrate. Failed tests. Now im behind and I am garunteed to fail. The stress of everything above is now like 2 elephans on ither shoulder. Now I want to fucking cry because im smokeing to boot. Its not my fault thoe, its the only thing that helps.

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  2. #2  
    Senior Member PSP Elite Hacker TZone's Avatar
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    DarthWalker, You should sit down with your parents and let them know what is happening and happened, explain to them the difficulties they had put pressure, stress, anxiety on you which in turn affected your school, don't let them think it's all your fault for failing , they need to know... also your only human.... it can be tough to cope with such things.... but I do recommend quitting again, as there are no benefits to smoking... hey if you need to... you can chat with me in IM, I'll listen to you and not to mention, I might give ya some advice to work with be strong and talk to your parents I'm here man if ya need someone to talk to.


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  3. #3  
    Senior Member PSP Mad Hacker DarthWalker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TZone
    DarthWalker, You should sit down with your parents and let them know what is happening and happened, explain to them the difficulties they had put pressure, stress, anxiety on you which in turn affected your school, don't let them think it's all your fault for failing , they need to know... also your only human.... it can be tough to cope with such things.... but I do recommend quitting again, as there are no benefits to smoking... hey if you need to... you can chat with me in IM, I'll listen to you and not to mention, I might give ya some advice to work with be strong and talk to your parents I'm here man if ya need someone to talk to.
    You dont think thats the first thing i did?

    I quote what my mom said;

    "BULLSHIT! Dont blame work and family affairs on your schoolwork! Thats no excuse! I'm fucking tired of you blameing everything on work and life!"

    So you tell me TZone, where was I to turn. The stress is killing me! My parents hear me but dont listen.

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  4. #4  
    Senior Member PSP Elite Hacker TZone's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DarthWalker
    You dont think thats the first thing i did?

    I quote what my mom said;

    "BULLSHIT! Dont blame work and family affairs on your schoolwork! Thats no excuse! I'm fucking tired of you blameing everything on work and life!"

    So you tell me TZone, where was I to turn. The stress is killing me! My parents hear me but dont listen.
    Damn!, I'm so sorry man.... that really sucks See what happens as we get older and have kids of our own, for some unknown reason we ourselves forget what it was like to be a kid/young adult.... we lose sight of the different stresses... when your young... I myself have made a huge effort to never forget, so when my own children come to me, I can be there for them... what your mom did wasnt right, I'm sorry... you were reaching out and she should have been there for you, to listen and talk with you about the problems and try and help you figure it out.
    Heck that's what being a parent is all about, to be there for your kids when they need you, not yell at them and blame them for their problems....

    That really sucks


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  5. #5  
    Senior Member PSP Mad Hacker DarthWalker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TZone
    Damn!, I'm so sorry man.... that really sucks See what happens as we get older and have kids of our own, for some unknown reason we ourselves forget what it was like to be a kid/young adult.... we lose sight of the different stresses... when your young... I myself have made a huge effort to never forget, so when my own children come to me, I can be there for them... what your mom did wasnt right, I'm sorry... you were reaching out and she should have been there for you, to listen and talk with you about the problems and try and help you figure it out.
    Heck that's what being a parent is all about, to be there for your kids when they need you, not yell at them and blame them for their problems....

    That really sucks
    Well, im out of places to turn. My friends are no help, they joke about my problems like its a fucking game to them. My teachers wont negotiate with me, like I asked to hand stuff in late and the declined. My parents arent here for me, and I have a shit job. I had plans for college, but I dont think I can do it. Im going to try. Thanks for your supportive words, its a nie change of pace. But WHEN I FAIL I will be out of m house for good. All I can do now is fucking pray. Im as good as gone...dont know where to go. Guess i'll have to get a shit apartment, seeinga s I only get paid 220$ tops a week full time.

    Then I willl have to survive and cant even think of my education.

    This is whats depresssing me. I know im out come gradeing, but I dont know what to do.

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  6. #6  
    Senior Member PSP Elite Hacker TZone's Avatar
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    Well, as glum as it looks, don't worry.. it's not as bad as you think.... things will get better, but ya just hafta hang in there and keep going...... I'll tell ya something , but I will keep it short, I was booted from my house when I was 16, yep had the parent split up and everything, but thats just a small part of it.... reason I am telling you this is, cause it does get better, you just hafta believe in yourself and that things will get better and it will, really.... its weird how it works out...what I would do if you can, is check into some of the motels that do a monthly/weekly rate.. if it comes to you being out on your own..... that way you get a place thats furnished.. and it's not as bad as you might think, I did it when I was near your age.... it worked for awhile till I got better established and then got my own apartment...

    Hang in there, and like I said you can chat with me any time.


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  7. #7  
    Senior Member PSP Mad Hacker crimsn's Avatar
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    Dont feel discouraged man, some parents just really loose it when they get older, they forget that the things we worry about are not the same as what they worry about. They think what is important to us is insignificant and pointless. I ont want to be an assshole towards your mom or disrespect but thats really fucked up to think that something that emotionally devastating such as a break up wouldnt effect other apects of your life. What yu are stuck in right now is what is called a shit phase, things just keep getting worse but things have to eventually get better like Tzone previously said. Just drown out your sorrows with a few cigs and blast some music to get away from it all for awhile till the smoke clears(no pun intended) Just try to stay positive minded and hope you pass, you really cant change it now right so dont fret about it. Just look for other living arrangements just in case I was really going to tell you your not alone on this one but I ended up with a Dr.Phil therapy session post Anyways the best of luck to your friend and hope it helps some.

    Maybe this will help, I made it myself so naturally it sucks...

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  8. #8  
    Senior Member PSP Mad Hacker Livinitup_042001's Avatar
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    Sorry For Ya Man, Hope Things Get Better Between You.
    PSP VERS. 3.80
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    Halo 3 Rox! Besides the fact that it's for Xbox. Touche Microsoft.
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  9. #9  
    Senior Member PSP Elite Hacker jrmdb3's Avatar
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    Ah man say it ain't so. You sounded fine on MSN man. Just HANG IN there dude, trust me, it WILL get better. Everything happens for a reason. What reason you might ask? We'll you'll just have to hang in there and find out. But im here for you as well man, Hit ma up anytime on MSN and Illl be there to talk to you. Ill be tehre to listen, not hear your problems, i promise

    Hang in there

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  10. #10  
    Senior Member PSP Mad Hacker DarthWalker's Avatar
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    I want to put you all in a room and hugg you, but everyone is way to far away to hug. I appriteate your support thoe. Guess that the next best thing to a hug

    And yea jrmdb I dont let stress/depression get to my speech...as long as I can hold it back I wont sound like anything is bothering me. Its a false sence of security I have

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  11. #11  
    Senior Member PSP Elite Hacker SAYN's Avatar
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    I'm sorry for ya man!
    The stress in the school is the worst I'd say, cause my mom wont be satisfied even if I get through, I have to have top grades...
    Man.... And you shouldnt have let those threat calls have come to you, cause, they are at the other end of the line and cant hurt you...
    But thinkin of how it would be to make your mother dissapointed, man, its really harsh, and we are all here, if you need anyone to talk to...

    Again, I feel for ya , Hope you'll get through it....
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  12. #12  
    Senior Member PSP Mad Hacker Dende00's Avatar
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    Wha exactly are u smokin bro? If its wha I think thats not so bad. Its just fate it seems that toss u to the side, as if u dont matter. The break up is not the end of ur world. Just focus hard on ur school because this is ur last year, if u really want to pass. Even if ur 95% bout to fail. I repeated 12 grade to learn to skate, I dont regret it. When I look back I laugh. My point no one is perfect, so ur parents just have to live wit wha ever happens. Its ur decision, not theres. So dont feel so pressured. Wit the work issue, try to think less of the people that put u down, put ur self up above em. I know I cant feel exactly wha u feel, but I think this might help.
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  13. #13  
    Member PSP User lostplate's Avatar
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    darth.. my parents are splitin up soon and no one in my familiy is doin anythin.. i smoke alot too about 10 cigs a day.. i know that its alot of pressure so fuckin lots.. i can say that i had a similar incident that happened.. my mom told me that she knows that im not gonna pass collage.. so what i did is i turned that negative into a positive.. it gave me the motivation to prove her wrong.. ur a smart kid i know that.. u can get thru this..i over came this obstacle by livin each day as it comes.. i didnt look for the future.. what happens today happens, and i worry about tommorow when it comes..and regards to school, prayin helps calm you down but hopin for a miracle is the last option. figure out another way to talk to your teachers.. if they dont listen go to your guidance councelors.. then if everything fails repeat grade 12. there is nothing wrong in repeatin it, you are doin this for your own future.. fuck anybody that brings you down. its your life and you know that your doin the best you can.. and as for being depressed your human it will eventually happen.. the thing that matters is that when u get depressed u must be able to pull your self together.. and for being ashamed, there is nothing to be ashamed off.. shit happens thats life.. my friend told me once that no matter how hard my situation is, there are people in the world that are willin to switch places with me.. i hope i helped.. you can get thru this man.. you can.
    It is easy to become a human, Its hard to become a person

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